It is a good policy to be good, or nice. We were all brought up wired to believe it pays to be good, and evil not to be. All media around us convince us that you will always pay for being bad, and you can never lose by being good. However, we encounter culture shocks when we relate to the “real” world, and the idioms prove false. People take you for granted because you are just a nice guy. The obnoxious, insensitive egomaniac wins the deal by undermining other competition, bribing his way through, blackmailing or de-marketing others. You lose out only because you played fair by the rule-book. It would not matter if it was a one-off scenario, instead of a constantly recurring one. So, how can you make money, grow your business, and get respect from competition, by remaining nice?
I will start with a few points:
• Expecting people to be good to you because you are nice is like expecting a bull not to charge at you because you are a vegetarian; or expecting a snake not to bite you because you are an Animal Rights activist.
• Every sunrise in the Safari, the gazelle wakes up knowing it must learn to run faster to escape the lion, if it must live through the day. On the other hand, every lion knows it must hunt better, if it must not go hungry.
• Nobody cares about you like you do.
• NICENESS is not the opposite of FIRMNESS. You can be both. Nice people build goodwill, while firm people earn respect.
• Most wild animals will not attack you for fun, yet they will not yield their territory without a fight.
• Attack is still the best form of defense. The difference between a Prey and a Predator is determined by who is chasing the other.
• In business, mind your business. Your competition IS your business.
No matter how nice you expect people to be, you may have realized by now that humans have a tendency to push you, checking how hard you can push back. It is not limited to family members, or your in-laws, or competition. Your employees, or subordinates, are also guilty of this. Being good to people does not guarantee that you will get similar treatment in return. If you do not draw boundaries and manage the situation, they will have a good time at your expense. What are the practical ways to avoid or stop employees, subordinates, superiors, competition, or prospects from treating you like the proverbial “step-sibling”?
• You must be guided by principles. They are tenets that determine your resolve at any point. If you lack principles, you become inconsistent. Nobody likes to do business or work for an inconsistent fellow. If they are forced to do so, they react with indignity.
• First, ensure you are operating on intelligent and ethical grounds; then stand your ground! Some people may dislike your firm, unyielding outlook to issues, but everyone will respect you for it. If you are lucky, some will fear you for it.
• Always maintain a cool demeanour. This is difficult when others become cantankerous. Learn to generate an inner peace that helps you not to disrespect others. Most witnesses will not remember the cause of the conflict, but will remember the role you played in it.
• Apply rules and sanctions appropriately. This is important when relating to subordinates or employees. Emotion does not put food on your table. It is a currency alien to business. If you let little misdemeanours slide, you are setting yourself up to accommodate bigger offences. Being soft on your employees or subordinates does not inspire loyalty. It creates latitude for disrespect. They will not like you more simply because you let them off the hook.
• Treat everyone with the respect you desire to get from others. This goes for even employees, subordinates and competition. Would you like a superior to by-pass the office messenger and send you to buy lunch, while your day’s job is pending? Then, why do it to others?
• There is a difference between office politics and cut-throat undermining. If your best strategy to the top is to treat others like rag, back-bite, subvert and scheme against every perceived or real competition, while sucking up to management, three things will eventually happen: 1. Management and everyone else will soon see the slimy, snaky devil you are, 2. Some people may fear you, but nobody will respect you, or treat you with respect. In fact, they will prepare to treat you the way you treat people, 3. God is preparing somewhere someone worse (or more opportune) than you to return your high-handed favours to you.
• There is a difference between business strategies and de-marketing your competition. If your main advertising strategy is to show the public how bad your competition’s products are, you are also sending a signal about the industry you are in. Yes, you can tell others what makes your product better than competition’s; this is different from telling them what makes your competition’s product worse than yours.
• As much as is possible, separate your business or work life from your private life. Do your family members run over your employees? Do your children have unbridled access to office stationeries and tools and are allowed to use them without caution? Are you in the habit of employing only the “bed-able” genders for personal gratification, and openly being partial in judgement and reward system? Sorry, you have already lost respect!
You do not have control over how people relate to you. You can influence it by the way you relate to your environment. You can be nice while earning respect.
Full text of article in the May 2010 edition of the monthly Business and Commerce newsprint, NoticeBoardI will start with a few points:
• Expecting people to be good to you because you are nice is like expecting a bull not to charge at you because you are a vegetarian; or expecting a snake not to bite you because you are an Animal Rights activist.
• Every sunrise in the Safari, the gazelle wakes up knowing it must learn to run faster to escape the lion, if it must live through the day. On the other hand, every lion knows it must hunt better, if it must not go hungry.
• Nobody cares about you like you do.
• NICENESS is not the opposite of FIRMNESS. You can be both. Nice people build goodwill, while firm people earn respect.
• Most wild animals will not attack you for fun, yet they will not yield their territory without a fight.
• Attack is still the best form of defense. The difference between a Prey and a Predator is determined by who is chasing the other.
• In business, mind your business. Your competition IS your business.
No matter how nice you expect people to be, you may have realized by now that humans have a tendency to push you, checking how hard you can push back. It is not limited to family members, or your in-laws, or competition. Your employees, or subordinates, are also guilty of this. Being good to people does not guarantee that you will get similar treatment in return. If you do not draw boundaries and manage the situation, they will have a good time at your expense. What are the practical ways to avoid or stop employees, subordinates, superiors, competition, or prospects from treating you like the proverbial “step-sibling”?
• You must be guided by principles. They are tenets that determine your resolve at any point. If you lack principles, you become inconsistent. Nobody likes to do business or work for an inconsistent fellow. If they are forced to do so, they react with indignity.
• First, ensure you are operating on intelligent and ethical grounds; then stand your ground! Some people may dislike your firm, unyielding outlook to issues, but everyone will respect you for it. If you are lucky, some will fear you for it.
• Always maintain a cool demeanour. This is difficult when others become cantankerous. Learn to generate an inner peace that helps you not to disrespect others. Most witnesses will not remember the cause of the conflict, but will remember the role you played in it.
• Apply rules and sanctions appropriately. This is important when relating to subordinates or employees. Emotion does not put food on your table. It is a currency alien to business. If you let little misdemeanours slide, you are setting yourself up to accommodate bigger offences. Being soft on your employees or subordinates does not inspire loyalty. It creates latitude for disrespect. They will not like you more simply because you let them off the hook.
• Treat everyone with the respect you desire to get from others. This goes for even employees, subordinates and competition. Would you like a superior to by-pass the office messenger and send you to buy lunch, while your day’s job is pending? Then, why do it to others?
• There is a difference between office politics and cut-throat undermining. If your best strategy to the top is to treat others like rag, back-bite, subvert and scheme against every perceived or real competition, while sucking up to management, three things will eventually happen: 1. Management and everyone else will soon see the slimy, snaky devil you are, 2. Some people may fear you, but nobody will respect you, or treat you with respect. In fact, they will prepare to treat you the way you treat people, 3. God is preparing somewhere someone worse (or more opportune) than you to return your high-handed favours to you.
• There is a difference between business strategies and de-marketing your competition. If your main advertising strategy is to show the public how bad your competition’s products are, you are also sending a signal about the industry you are in. Yes, you can tell others what makes your product better than competition’s; this is different from telling them what makes your competition’s product worse than yours.
• As much as is possible, separate your business or work life from your private life. Do your family members run over your employees? Do your children have unbridled access to office stationeries and tools and are allowed to use them without caution? Are you in the habit of employing only the “bed-able” genders for personal gratification, and openly being partial in judgement and reward system? Sorry, you have already lost respect!
You do not have control over how people relate to you. You can influence it by the way you relate to your environment. You can be nice while earning respect.
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